when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
