so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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