I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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