I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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