dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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