can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
