This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i think my cat just said my name.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
