I can text with my tongue
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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