pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
