She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
