is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
where am i from again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
