8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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