we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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