God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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