You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
