Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This house was built for laser tag.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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