Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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