Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
