so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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