"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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