Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
