I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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