Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
