This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
