i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
