At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
