DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize