did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
