I'm jealous of your bromance
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
