Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
