I think im going to throw up on grandma
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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