You don't have asthma, your pregnant
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
