My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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