none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize