I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
