Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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