I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
