I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
