I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Couch. On fire.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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