If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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