i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
