this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize