so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
