I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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