got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
