it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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