I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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