gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
