we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize