I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
