the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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