I got chris browned last night
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
