You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
