I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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