Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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