i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am midnight drunk by noon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
