And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
