Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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