Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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