paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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