There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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