Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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